Hard to dissociate!

It was a night without stars, a sleepless night, during which all these unanswered questions are being asked at irregular intervals and these torment our hearts that are already very fragile. Going back in time, I found myself faced with a reality that I had often wanted to conceal: “Love” and I had not been getting along for a long time. Not that I had ceased to believe in it, but I felt that I had often lost myself, given a lot and received very little. And when I had received, it didn’t last for a long time. Hush! Let’s turn the page.

The result was unsatisfactory. I had most of the time been with someone not made for me, with the wrong one who was unable to invest in the long term, or was not ready. As soon as it is a question of feelings, I badly want to escape. As I lay on my bed, feeling insomniac, I decided that it was over, that I would not give in more even if sometimes loneliness weighs too much.

I had my lot of liars, cheaters, I had my lot of feelings played with, guys who had almost promised me the moon and who were not even able to pick up their phone to say that they would not go further with the relationship that we shared. I had my share of bogus excuses. I have had really enough. I had given my heart to people who did not know the value of love, the value of loving them to a point that you forget who you are. I regret having been in the arms of men who lacked etiquette and tact. I had never been appreciated for who I truly am.

That day I decided to love myself more, I knew how to say “no” without being afraid of being rejected. I was no longer subject to the power of others and was no longer a mistress of their games. I decided that I deserve the best. I so wish people realised that when you love someone, you love him or her the way he or she is. We are not here to change people around but to embrace each other’s difference and live.

When you start a relationship, everyone comes with their story. It all depends on what we want to share or unveil. It all depends on the degree of self-confidence in the other. It is not always easy. People are not identical, neither are feelings. Each and everyone have his way of life.

Everyone makes his choices and that our choices belong to us and do not have to be judged, from the moment when respect and trust are not undermined us, rather it helps us gain experiences and be more mature. Sadly enough, I struggle a lot to be able to dissociate myself from people whose attitudes make me sick and they drain me. Tell me; are you able to dissociate yourself?


I just go on do things naturally whatsoever I feel to do, whatsoever I feel to say because I don't have any obligation to anybody, I don't have any commitment to anybody. I don't belong to any party line. I am absolutely free to be funny, to be shocking. I don't even bother about contradicting myself because to me it seems a person who remains consistent his/her whole life must be an idiot. A growing person has to contradict himself/herself many times because who knows what tomorrow brings in? Tomorrow may cancel this day completely. I am ready to go on with life with no hesitation. Contradictions have something of tremendous value. They appear a contradiction to the intellect. But deep down contradictions are compensatory. They depend on each other.

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