As a child I was always fond of watching cartoons like Snow White and Cinderella which were indeed perfect examples of stories with a happy ending. (The ‘happy ever after’ ending-if you see what I mean). These stories would always make me dream of one day having a charming prince who would come in a white horse and there would be love songs playing in the background like it is the case in Bollywood movies generally.
However, as I grew up I realized that I had much to learn about ‘love’ and about the various intricacies people attached to it. Everybody has this mad crave for ‘love’- a concept which they know not of what it means but they are indeed in the process of imitating what they perceive as ‘love’- that kind of desperate ‘love’ or the rosy portrayal of the notion of love that they watch in movies or even read in books. Every ‘heart’ is in this crazy and frantic hunt of ‘love’ at one point or the other.
Well, when we are kids, we hang on to sweet and innocent ‘puppy’ love. When we enter the age of puberty, we happen to fall for the older boy/girl next door. When we are adolescents in the maddening brawl of identity crises, we write “Shakespearean” type of love letters to the “custodians of our hearts.” As we grow older we stalk our love interests on social networking sites and then we even tend to attend parties, in search for the “love of our lives”. (Bullshit but true enough!) And funnily, when we are old enough some of us still chase the ones that are already taken.
We all keep trying. Some get their “true love” and others try a little too hard and all they might ever get is some kind of “unrequited love”. Some feel discouraged with one person and throw their ‘fishing rod’ upon the nest because they believe that there are many ‘fishes’ in the sea. Others are determined and they are not going to put off their try, only with the aim to win the heart of their perfect ones. Fair enough, the search continues like an ever-moving wheel.
Long ago, during the primitive times, men and women were hunter-gatherers in search for food, water and shelter, I mean their basic needs, to be able to survive. Nowadays, men and women are hunters, preying on each other’s attention and praying to win hearts. It can never get any easier especially when ‘love’ is so intricate and uncertain. The person you don’t want in your life, wants you while the person you want, doesn’t want you. And the simple advice that you get from people around when you are depressed is “MOVE ON” because “Time waits for none and life goes on.” Easier said than done because the heart wants what the heart wants.
In the war of the hearts, there are also the unending break ups- broken hearted beings. Where do broken hearts go? Some go on a rebound rampage having random sex with random people. The rage of a jilted lover is never one to be underestimated. Lovers have been known to turn into pure evil in their desperation. They turn violent, drunkard (the Devdas type), and even go to rape or sexually abuse of people because they have a ‘lack’. Some just go on to BUY ‘love’. Yes, they buy it on the streets, in brothels, in hotel rooms and the list is never-ending.
At the end of the day, people seek “love”, find “love” and lose “love”. It is like a vicious cycle. They have never understood and will never understand what “love” means because the media have mould their definition of what “love” is. I wish people could understand that love is unstructured; it is a state of your being, not a relationship. There are loving people and there are unloving people. Unloving people pretend to be loving through the relationships. Loving people need not have any relationship – love is enough. Relationship may be just a kind of security – financial or something else. The relationship is needed only because love is not there. Relationship is a substitute.
As Osho says: “Be a loving person rather than be in a love relationship – because relationships happen one day and disappear another day. They are flowers; in the morning they bloom, by the evening they are gone.”
I only wish people could be loving in this madding crowd!